


while we're pining & not being pined for

by heartstarmagick



Category: The Magicians (TV), The Magicians - Lev Grossman
Genre: (at least with anal), Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Eliot Waugh's Canonically Huge Dick, First Time, Friends With Benefits, Just bros being bros, M/M, PWP, Recreational Drug Use, Sad Friends Fucking, Smoking, Soft Queliot Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-07
Updated: 2020-01-07
Packaged: 2021-02-27 08:55:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,133
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22164433
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heartstarmagick/pseuds/heartstarmagick
Summary: Eliot and Josh both want something they can't have, so they fall on each other instead. Josh discovers he isn't quite as straight as he thought.-“Keanu Reeves is attractive across the sexuality spectrum though, so you don’t have to turn in your straight guy card if you don’t want to.”“I mean, duh, of course,” there was something unreadable in Josh’s voice until he took another hit off the small water pipe, clearing his throat. “Sometimes you have friends though, right? And you want to make them feel good? Isn’t that…different?”
Relationships: Eliot Waugh/Josh Hoberman, Josh Hoberman & Eliot Waugh
Comments: 6
Kudos: 37





	while we're pining & not being pined for

**Author's Note:**

> I think about "the Physical Kids falling in love with each other" like every day, and my brain wouldn't rest until I did this. It's technically book verse, but honestly it could feasibly go either way. 
> 
> Happy reading!

Josh was sitting at the piano, working on some piece that was just above his skill level. Eliot was sprawled across the couch, smoking a gold leaf painted joint he’d rolled, intermittently trying to offer counsel without actually bothering to get up and look at the positioning of Josh’s hands.

“You keep hitting the sharp, there’s no sharp there.”

“No I don’t.”

“Yeah you do, it’s not on purpose. You’re just— you’re _plinking_ it just enough for me to hear it.” Josh rolled his eyes and played through the section of music slowly again, still hitting the key in question. “You see—”

“I heard it that time, it’s this two hand thing I’m not used to—”

Eliot sighed dramatically, taking one more puff before snapping the joint out and rolling off the couch. He stood behind Josh, leaning and looking over his shoulder; close enough for Josh to smell obscenely expensive cologne mixed with the herb Eliot had been working on. “Show me exactly what you’re doing.”

Josh glanced to the other with eyes only, not wanting to turn and risk uncomfortable contact. “How do _you_ know what _you’re_ doing?”

“I took piano lessons for eight years.”

“Fair enough,” Josh murmured, sighing and trying not to let the nerves of having an intimate audience get the better of him as he played through the troublesome section of music. Eliot hummed in understanding once Josh was done. “What’s the verdict, doc?”

“Your left hand is too far up. And you’re thinking too much about the note that happens at the change, but that comes with more practice. For now, you want your left hand here,” he murmured low, taking Josh’s hands and putting them both back in position. Eliot carefully guided his fingers to be lower and Josh was trying very hard not to think about how Eliot’s hands were miraculously both incredibly strong and incredibly _soft_ against his own. “Try it like that.”

Of course he did and of course it solved the stray note situation. Eliot smiled broadly, as did Josh who paused in his playing, “You should teach.”

“Oh God no, but thank you,” he said, patting Josh on the shoulder as he straightened. “You’re super tense, I can fix that too.”

“Is there anything you can’t do?” Josh asked, sighing as Eliot began rubbing his shoulders.

“I’m laughably bad at anything above basic arithmetic.”

“This is way more important and useful than calculus.”

Eliot smiled, his hands slowing a little bit in favor of working more deeply. Silence bloomed, or maybe conversation _dropped_ , the only sound being cicadas and Josh’s soft noises until he picked up the pipe resting on the piano and took a hit. He offered it to Eliot who obliged, and they passed it back and forth a couple of times before settling back in with Josh leaning forward in near-ecstasy as Eliot worked a particularly troublesome knot at his shoulderblade.

“I don’t wanna go out tonight,” Josh said softly, taking his glasses off and rubbing over his face.

“Then don’t,” Eliot replied, humming and moving his hands to massage along the upper part of his spine.

“I _want_ to get laid though. I’m just…sick of being a last resort.”

Eliot clicked his tongue, shaking his head, “All hookups are a last resort.”

“You know what I mean.”

“I know what you mean, I’m…” Eliot hummed, hands become that much more gentle, “—not sure you’re being fair, is all.” Josh made a soft noise halfway between an inquisitive grunt and a moan. Eliot continued, “I’m _surrounded_ by guys who don’t think they’re good enough and it couldn’t be further from the truth. When _my_ sense of self-worth is the strongest one in the room, there’s something deeply wrong with the room.”

Josh snorted, “Are you talking about Quentin?”

“When am I not?”

“Not so much anymore.” _Ever since him and Alice._ Eliot stilled his hands. Josh shivered, “Didn’t mean to hit a nerve. Sorry.”

Silently, Eliot continued working on the other. And predictably, Josh was the one to speak first, “What’re _you_ doing tonight?”

The question drew a sigh. “I’m not sure. Maybe hitting the city and finding a last-resort of my own in the form of some eighteen-year-old who’s _always kind of thought about gay sex_ but never could get there.”

Eliot realized he’d been working on the same spot for way too long and shifted his attention to Josh’s middle-back while looking at the piano. The jab regarding Quentin still stung a bit, though Eliot knew it hadn’t been out of malice. More likely than not he was going to spend the night with his head in Janet’s lap crying into a crystal glass of cabernet sauvignon and then pretending two hours later he _wasn’t_ doing that.

“Does it bother you?” Josh asked quietly.

“Hm?”

“It kind of seems like they’re using you when they do that.”

Eliot shrugged, “They’re not wrong to think that I’m really good in bed. I mean, if you’re looking to try steak for the first time why _wouldn’t_ you go after the filet mignon? Plus it’s nice to go into a hookup knowing that you’re going to make someone see stars. I only ever sleep with guys who don’t have a lot of experience or guys who have way more than I do.”

“You’ve got it all figured out.”

“Years of practice.”

Josh nodded. Another pause, “So like—I know it’s really cliché but how did you _know_?”

“That I was gay? Probably when I watched _Matrix_ and wanted Keanu Reeves’s dick in my mouth.” It was a question he’d gotten a lot, a question he deeply hated because _what did it matter,_ and found that the best way to deflect further questioning was to be as vulgar about it as possible. Josh’s response was surprising though:

“Is _that_ all it takes?”

Eliot couldn’t help a laugh, “Wanting to have sex with another guy is a pretty big symptom of not being straight, yeah.”

“Food for thought, I guess.”

“Keanu Reeves is attractive across the sexuality spectrum though, so you don’t have to turn in your straight guy card if you don’t want to.”

“I mean, duh, of _course_ ,” there was something unreadable in Josh’s voice until he took another hit off the small water pipe, clearing his throat. “Sometimes you have friends though, right? And you want to make them feel good? Isn’t that…different?”

Eliot wanted to say that _it’s still gay, Josh_ , but held his tongue in favor of leaning in a dreadfully impractical way to kiss Josh square on the lips. He didn’t push too hard in an effort to leave Josh room to pull away if he had wanted to, but to Eliot’s surprise he only felt Josh pulling him in deeper.

Josh kissed about as well as any other straight- _ish_ guy did, though he didn’t feel nearly as nervous as Eliot would have expected. He felt one of Josh’s hands in his hair and made a soft noise into their now-open mouth kiss, pulling away after another moment.

There was a hungry look in Josh’s eyes that made Eliot’s breath catch and there was another beat of silence before Josh stood up and pulled Eliot into another surprisingly rough kiss, moving until Eliot’s back hit the wall and Josh pressed against him, kissing his neck, “Jesus, you’re tall,” he muttered, nipping at the fair skin as his hips sought purchase against what he could reach of Eliot’s body.

“Laying down will even us out,” Eliot gasped softly, arching his body into Josh’s.

“Mhm, good call,” Josh said softly, taking his hand, “My room or yours?”

“Mine,” Eliot answered, absently kissing Josh’s forehead before shifting to lead the way. Josh followed happily, adjusting the collar of his shirt as they walked down the hallways, Eliot sighing as he closed the door behind them. Before Josh could say anything, Eliot pulled him into another passionate kiss. He felt Josh’s hands gentle on his waist, unsure, and it just made Eliot smirk and press his whole body against the other’s larger frame.

Josh felt good against him, though Eliot was aware enough to know that it was more about filling a void than fucking _him_. If Josh was honest, the feeling was mutual. A warm body was a warm body and…it helped that platonically they liked each other. Eliot started kissing his neck, leaving sweet little bite indentations as Josh moaned, his hands moving more insistently under Eliot’s shirt.

Eliot walked backwards until he was easing himself onto the bed, Josh following suit on top of him. A clumsy hand moved up Eliot’s body to work at the buttons on his shirt but Eliot didn’t try to take over—it was kind of sweet in that _inexperienced_ way. He did help Josh get the shirt off, tossing it aside before taking off Josh’s shirt and happily feeling over his skin, hands settling on his back and pulling him down tighter to kiss him deeply.

Their pants were still on, friction building between the duo as Josh rocked his hips into Eliot’s. Something very close to a whine escaped Eliot as Josh’s hardness rubbed him in just that right way, one hand leaving his back to climb up to his hair. The other hand was on Eliot’s neck, creeping up to his jaw--normally he’d ask that it be left alone but…Josh was gentle and it felt kind of good so he let it go.

Josh moved back to kiss the other side of Eliot’s neck, pain mixing with pleasure as he left marks. Eliot didn’t care, nor did he care about the obscene noises coming out of his mouth. “Am I doing okay?” Josh asked, breath hot on Eliot’s ear, making him moan again.

“Doing great.”

“How do you want me?”

Barely a second passed after the question before Josh resumed rutting his now-impossibly-hard cock against Eliot’s, drawing a loud moan and feeling his eyes roll in the back of his head. It came out before Eliot could stop himself: “I _really_ want you to fuck me, Josh.”

“Happy to oblige you, El.”

“I don’t want you to oblige me, I need you to _fuck_ me.”

That only made Josh smirk, moving to crawl off of Eliot and unfasten the other’s pants, “ _Need_?” Josh dipped his head lower to kiss Eliot’s hipbone, stroking over his pelvis and making Eliot shiver. Careful hands moved to strip off his pants, stroking over the silken fabric that it was tenting. “This is big, isn’t it?”

“I’ve been blessed, yeah.” The words were moaned more than they were spoken.

Eliot let his eyes flutter open, catching Josh pulling off his underwear and lifting his hips to assist. He also caught Josh’s eyes widening when his hardness was actually free from the fabric, preening a little bit under the attention. Josh reached and gave it a slow, careful tug with a little smile, “You have the prettiest dick I’ve ever seen.”

“Oh _fuck_ ,” Eliot gasped at the contact, the compliment making him flush all over. He didn’t really know how many dicks Josh had seen but wasn’t about to ask, enjoying the feeling of Josh’s firm hand teasing him.

“I’ve always wondered what it tasted like,” he breathed, barely hesitating before sinking down lower and letting the tip into his mouth, sucking gently. Eliot moaned out loud, trying not to buck his hips as he did.

“Don’t let me cum,” Eliot gasped, earning a nod.

Josh sucked him in a little bit deeper, Eliot moaning again and letting out a shuddering breath. Eliot felt one of Josh’s hands on his hip as he continued to work and just the edge was threatening to approach, Josh pulled away. The string of precum trailing from his cock to Josh’s pretty mouth was an unbearably erotic sight, Eliot almost couldn’t look at him but…well, some things couldn’t be helped.

Meanwhile Josh’s eyes were wandering all over him, his hand moving down his hipbone and over the upper part of his thigh, “You are—something else.”

“You think I’m pretty?”

Josh chuckled softly, “Always have. But I don’t think I ever realized until now it was something different than appreciating your aesthetic.” He swallowed hard, moving to kneel between Eliot’s legs, “Have you ever thought about me like this?”

“Do you think I’d be here if I hadn’t?”

“Fair enough.”

There was a little bit of a comfortable lull as Josh got himself out of his pants and underwear, setting them on the floor. Eliot propped himself up on his elbows, watching and only moving to kiss him on the jaw when Josh was done.

“Now,” Eliot murmured, reaching to stroke Josh’s hardness slowly. “I’m going to lay down and you’re going to use your fingers on me, so I can effortlessly take you.”

Josh was practically drooling, moaning softly and nodding at Eliot’s instruction, “That sounds good.”

Eliot left a gentle kiss on his cheek, handing over the lubricant and laying on his back. Not a moment later, he felt a cold, lubed finger at his entrance and shuddered, moving one of his legs to around Josh’s waist. Josh eased it in, in a way that almost felt like he’d done it before, eyes greedily drinking in Eliot’s form writhing around on the bed for him.

Eliot was sort of playing it up—one finger only felt so good—but he wanted Josh to feel confident because he ached to be fucked completely senseless. It seemed to work, the next maneuvers feeling that much less shaky and unsure as Josh’s free hand crept along his leg. He leaned to kiss Eliot’s thigh before looking to him, “How do I know when you’re ready for me?”

“Three—ahhh…!” Eliot arched almost involuntarily as Josh found, and then gently probed at, his prostate. It took a moment for him to catch his breath again, looking to Josh with extremely hazed eyes, “Three fingers for a minute and then—then I’m good.”

“That was a _very_ nice noise you just made,” Josh murmured, holding Eliot’s hip more firmly as he worked and the body underneath him squirmed.

Josh was being thorough, not wanting to hurt him, but there came a point where Eliot moaned breathlessly and put his hand over the other’s wrist, “Please?”

“I don’t need to be asked twice.” Josh shifted to get the lube, coating himself before shifting to align himself with Eliot’s entrance. Eliot settled in, resting one of his ankles on Josh’s shoulder and let himself relax as his dear friend began filling him.

He moaned softly as he moved his other foot to rest on Josh’s free shoulder, who was still working himself inside and so fucking nervous that Eliot could feel it in every move he made. Eliot reached up, stroking Josh’s cheek and then one of his wrists. “You’re doing really good,” he affirmed softly, giving him a smile that betrayed gentleness before pressing a kiss to his arm.

“This is—fucking incredible,” Josh almost whined, an edge of something in his voice that Eliot had never heard before.

Eliot smirked, chuckling with his mouth closed and let Josh find his rhythm a little bit more. One still-shaking hand had moved to Eliot’s hip, thumbing over the soft skin. Eliot nipped at the inside of his other wrist, “I won’t break, Josh. You can take it harder.”

“Oh, El,” Josh moaned, and it only got Eliot even harder and more wanting. He thrusted faster and more deeply, hands gripping his hips in way that would be painful if the concoction of pain and pleasure didn’t wholly and _absolutely_ do it for him. Josh was watching him carefully, still looking closer to scared than not, but Eliot didn’t mind the close attention one bit.

After another moment, Eliot felt himself mentally settle. Sex did that to him sometimes—it was the closest he could get to a meditative state without the help of substances. Usually at this point during truly mindless sex he was closing his eyes and pretending it was someone he really cared about, usually Quentin, but he was finding that he was okay with _Josh_ being in his bed and making him feel like this. Josh had made himself a safe place to fall, the few times that Eliot fell on him instead of Janet. He bit his lip and smiled again, shifting his leg so it was off of Josh’s shoulder, “Want you closer,” Eliot murmured.

Josh blinked, pausing his motions and moving his hand off his hip so Eliot could wrap his leg around him. When he shifted his other leg though, Josh lost balance and ended up chest-to-chest with Eliot and neither one of the duo couldn’t help but break into a laugh. It was an almost pure sound, light and airy and full of joy, only stopping because through it Eliot could see Josh looking at him _so fondly_ and the brunet couldn’t help but pull him into a kiss because of it.

Surprisingly, Josh was the one to break the kiss in favor of biting and nipping at Eliot’s neck which drew a series of breathy little moans, “Okay, ah, where were we again?”

A low chuckle rumbled near Eliot’s ear, Josh giving his hip a helpful little squeeze as he thrusted deeply, “Around here?”

“Oh, _yeah_ , right there.”

Eliot’s long, strong legs kept Josh in place as he picked his pace back up. Josh kept one hand on Eliot’s shoulder for leverage, moving the other from his hip to his hardness and giving an experimental stroke. It drew a moan, a pull closer, Eliot breathy in Josh’s ear this time, “Don’t stop.”

“What if I’m not ready to let you cum yet?”

Josh’s voice had a definite edge of lust and overheatedness, but there was a lowlight of authority that made Eliot shiver. He’d seen that side of Josh before; it wasn’t easy to get out of him and even now wasn’t anything like anger or domination, just implicit firmness—as if he knew where Eliot’s proclivities lay. Maybe he did. “Then I— _guess_ \--I’m not ready to cum yet.” 

Another soft little laugh escaped Josh, a gentle sound that Eliot had always liked more than he wanted to admit. It felt good to make anyone laugh, but especially Josh who didn’t just snort sarcastically or chuckle mirthfully. _This_ was something altogether different, but it felt no less good on Eliot’s part (though perhaps he was biased because even though Josh’s hand had stilled on his leaking cock, he was still drilling Eliot pretty hard into the bed.) Eliot could feel the edge start to get close, the friction between them and the teasing from earlier and just how _good_ Josh was with his dick, but he kept it to himself and even tried to hold back because he didn’t really want this to end.

It was another few minutes of sweating and swearing and loud moaning that most certainly gave them away if anyone was home. Their kisses were getting close to feral and Josh moved with less precision though it felt no less good. Maybe another moment later, the hand Josh had in Eliot’s hair disentangled itself to sink lower to begin stroking him again and it took all of four pulls before Eliot cried out loudly, spilling over Josh’s hand as well as between them.

Eliot finishing triggered Josh’s release as well, half because of the walls around him twitching in a way that was almost too pleasant and half because watching Eliot cum was nothing short of spectacular. It was one of the only times his walls ever came down in full and it showed, in every inch of his face and the rest of his body.

Josh just about collapsed on top of him, and Eliot wrapped both arms around him to keep him there. They both tried to catch their breath at the same time, exchanging gentle kisses on the cheek once they got most of the way there. Josh moved to lay beside Eliot, who let him but immediately curled up at his side once he got settled. “Was it as good for you as it was for me?” Josh asked quietly, kissing the top of Eliot’s head.

“Probably better,” Eliot answered, reaching to the nightstand and grabbing a lighter and his pack of cigarettes. He shifted to still lay on Josh but at a less dangerous angle, offering the pack of cigarettes and was quietly pleased when Josh took one. Eliot lit his and then leaned and shifted to light Josh’s with his own—it would have been easier to just hand him the lighter, but they were having a moment. “For someone who’s never done that before, you’re really good.”

“I mean I’m not a _virgin_ ,” Josh snorted, taking a drag of his cigarette, “I’m glad though, that we could make each other feel good, and that I could make _you_ feel good. You deserve it, El, you’re always so good to all of us.”

Eliot rolled his eyes but his smile was genuine and he couldn’t ignore the feeling of warmth thrumming in his chest at the compliment. He took another, longer drag and sighed out the smoke before getting his ashtray off the nightstand and holding it as he curled back into place against Josh’s warm skin. “You deserve it too,” his voice was quiet, like he was admitting something he wasn’t quite ready for. Without thinking about it too much, he spoke again, “I haven’t cuddled after sex in a really long time.”

“It feels good, doesn’t it?”

“Actually yeah,” Eliot answered softly, taking one more drag before putting the cigarette out. Josh took the ashtray and set it on the other side of him, taking Eliot into his arms once again. His free hand was in dark locks, carefully carding through them as Eliot closed his eyes and wrapped an arm around Josh.

“Does that make me special?”

On reflex, Eliot snorted but he quickly cut it off with a little shrug, “I guess it makes you safe. I’m not feeling a particular pressure to get my pants on and get out.”

“I should hope not. It’s your bedroom.” Josh laughed a little bit too, shaking his head, “I’ll take safe though. I know that’s an important thing for you. That’s…why you like Quentin so much, isn’t it?”

“I do not want to be talking about Quentin right now.”

“I’m not offended, El. I think people in space can see how much you like him, it’s okay.”

Eliot shook his head, “It’s not fair to you. I don’t—” he sighed “—I don’t know what you want this to mean between us, but I’m not about to pine for another guy when _your_ dick was inside me not ten minutes ago. You’re important to me and you deserve better than that.”

“I guess you make a good point. Though you also bring up a good question.” Eliot mentally prepared himself for another round of Josh saying exactly the wrong thing at _exactly_ the wrong time. “What do you want this to mean?”

The question left Eliot with a sense of pleasant surprise. “I don’t know. It doesn’t have to mean anything if you don’t want it to. You have more on the line than I do.”

“I’ll admit, I had a really good time but I don’t want things to change.”

“Things don’t have to change. We don’t have to fall into a friends _or_ fucking dichotomy, we can have it all if that’s what you want.”

“Friends and fucking?”

“Something like that. While we’re here, while we’re pining and not being pined for. You said it yourself, we’re good at making each other feel good, why shouldn’t we have it whenever we want? If it stops working we can just stop, no hard feelings.”

Josh shrugged, finishing his cigarette, “I don’t see why not try it. I’m assuming this isn’t—you know, an exclusive thing?”

“Obviously not.”

“Perfect, I’m in.”

“Good, I’m going to get some rest. You wore me out very thoroughly,” there was a smile in his voice, something soft in his eye but he curled up as close as he could get and closed them before Josh could see. Josh was silent, his arms welcoming as Eliot rested his head on his chest. He gave Eliot a little smile, pulling the blanket over the two of them before settling back in. Eliot stroked his chest gently, not opening his eyes, “Will you stay with me while I sleep?”

“I’ll be right here when you wake up.”

Wordlessly, Eliot smiled and let himself relax and fall into a deep sleep.

**Author's Note:**

> i didn't mean to start actually shipping this but then they laughed during sex and ugh


End file.
